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Using a Vibrator With Your Partner: Why?

Using a Vibrator With Your Partner: Why?

hands clasping together against red background

Vibrators are great to use on your own. Using vibrators with a partner will take your sex life to the next level. 

You might have some reservations about bringing this up to your partner, because of various assumptions or fears you think they may have - most commonly, a concern that they alone, aren't enough for you to get pleasure from sex with them. 

Claire Cavanah, co-founder of Babeland, told Bustle, "There's this fear that sex toys are making people less into each other, that they're too mechanical. But they actually improve sex, make people want to be with each other, and can connect you over long distances.

The potential for overall improved sexual intimacy and experience by using a vibrator during sex stems from a variety of more specific benefits. 

1. More orgasms, all around.

If one or both of you struggle to get an orgasm, sex toys have been found to increase sexual desire, arousal, lubrication, and you guessed it - the occurrence and intensity of orgasms for women. As for men, vibrators have shown improved desire, erectile function, sexual satisfaction, and again - orgasms. If you have an orgasm using a vibrator during sex, you're having an orgasm from sex, period - don't think of it as something that doesn't "count" just because there's vibrational aid. 

2. Novelty.

While keeping to a routine benefits us in most aspects of our lives, your sex life can become monotonous and lose some excitement when it's the same thing, every time. Incorporating a vibrator into sex is a route to exploring new sex positions and sensations, also generally getting to know each other's bodies in a new way. 

3. Relieves the pressure to perform.

It can be harder to fully "lose yourself" in sex when you're in your head, wondering if your partner is enjoying whatever you're doing, while trying to feel sensations fully. Using a vibrator during sex gives you the opportunity to outsource a lot of the tactics of sex, focusing solely on the pleasure of your partner or yourself. Just be sure you still stay engaged in what you're doing with the vibrator - otherwise, it feels mechanic. Want a simple fix? Try a vibrating cock ring. Really want to lose yourself? Try a hands-free vibrator –usually great at achieving clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex.

4. Encourages conversation.

Opening up a conversation about vibrators can foster better communication with your partner in general. Like with anything else related to having sex, continuously checking in with each other as you go is vital. Using a vibrator together, especially for the first time, means quality practice in using your words (plus body language) to convey how things are feeling. 

A study run by WeVibe found that almost half of participating couples who use vibrators report communicating often, about sex as well as other topics. Out of those who don't use vibrators, only a third of couples reported the same level of openness and communication. While it's not certain if causation or correlation is to play in this, the use of vibrators in couples and communication go hand in hand. 

5. Increases your bond as a couple.

Incorporating a vibrator into your sexual portfolio together can boost the bond you have with your partner. Anything that brings more pleasure into your experience together drives increased intimacy, but since a vibrator often requires additional communication and co-experimentation, you can only become closer to each other in the process. 

Not to mention the increased "control" over when and how orgasms happen, giving you the opportunity to come together, even looking into each others' eyes while it happens. 

There's no bigger turn-on than vibing together.