Ah, the elusive female orgasm. Is there anything else so pleasurable that has given so many people so much anxiety? Some of the most common questions we hear during our research on this topic: 'Did she orgasm or did she fake it?' 'How can I make her orgasm?' 'Am I going to orgasm or is the fact that I'm thinking about orgasming going to doom this whole endeavor?' 'Should I just fake it?' [Our answer is always: no].
The act of orgasming, or helping your partner reach orgasm, shouldn't be a high-pressure situation in your sex life. It should feel natural. If you're dealing with how to make sure the 'big O' happens, we're here to help. And we're going to start by introducing you to the handiest tool in your erogenous zone belt: the clitoris.
Why clitoral stimulation is so important
Only about 25% of women can experience orgasms from vaginal penetration alone. Female sexuality is complicated and everyone's path to sexual arousal is different. But we are certain that clitoral stimulation is one necessary element to better orgasms.
Focusing on the clitoris in foreplay and during vaginal penetration is important as its the home of about 8,000 nerve endings that connect to another 15,000 nerves in the pelvis.
When one focuses on a clitoris, they may notice that it hardens due to its increased blood flow meaning, well, that it becomes erect. Yup. Like a penis. This is due to its anatomy–a clitoris is fairly similar to a penis in many ways. They even develop similarly in a fetus.
What you're seeing of the clitoris is actually 'just the tip' of it, technically called the 'clitoral gland.' Write your thank you cards about clitoral orgasms to Professor Helen O'Connell (Ph.D.) who has spent her career unlocking the 'mysteries' of the female body:
“The vaginal wall is, in fact, the clitoris. If you lift the skin off the vagina on the sidewalls, you get the bulbs of the clitoris — triangular, crescental masses of erectile tissue,” Dr. O’Connell explained in an interview with the BBC in 2006.
So, if you want better sex and more guaranteed orgasms, you have to start by focusing on clitoral stimulation. Sex toys can be an excellent place to start, particularly external ones like Limon. Limon even has a denser tip at its top designed to allow one to concentrate on the clitoris.
Understanding & Achieving Clitoral Orgasms
Build-up is important. Female sexuality is complicated and you can't just mash on the pleasure button and expect a woman to orgasm. Remember: there are a lot of nerve endings there so be thoughtful in your clitoral stimulation!
Watch for small signals of your own or your partner's sexual response as you gently concentrate on the spot. Like we said earlier, the clitoris' arousal function is similar to a penis' erection, see and feel if there's more blood flow. That will give you a good signal of when you can increase intensity. Continue applying consistent, though increasing pressure. (We hate to keep tooting our own horn, but the Limon was designed for exactly that).
From there, just pay attention. We suggest slowly building-up the sexual arousal by lightly circling the vaginal opening and touching other erogenous zones like the breasts, inner thighs, and neck.
Female orgasms: the clitoral orgasm compared the almighty vaginal orgasm, the g-spot orgasm, and the anal orgasm
Another element to take into consideration when thinking about achieving sexual pleasure is all the different types of orgasms that exist. The clitoral orgasm differs from the g-spot, anal, and vaginal orgasms. Wondering which kind of orgasms you have experienced? Which ones to try? Keep reading.
The clitoral orgasm, as we said previously, is the most common way women can reach orgasm. It's a versatile dynamo, able to be stimulated slowly and consistently to accomplish the female body's much-needed build-up to orgasm. It results in an explosive orgasm that can feel tingly all-over your body.
Vaginal orgasms are orgasms reached by vaginal penetration alone. But 'vaginal orgasm' is sort of a misnomer as they still involve arousal of the clitoris and labia minora and nothing internal contributes to the vaginal stimulation.
We've already established that it's hard women to achieve vaginal orgasms, but in those situations where a woman can reach orgasm with only vaginal penetration, what do vaginal orgasms feel like? Incredible, of course. Deep and fulfilling. If having sex with a partner who has their penis or a finger inserted, they're able to feel the vaginal walls convulse as you experience orgasm.
If one accomplishes both g-spot stimulation and clitoral stimulation at the same time, they might experience intense orgasms, the earth-shattering kind that can involve female ejaculation for some percent of women. We highly suggest clitoral stimulation as the build-up to vaginal penetration if one is trying to achieve this–and keeping a focus on the clitoris throughout.
You might be wondering how to try g-spot stimulation. First, locate your g-spot by laying on your back and inserting a finger about 2-3 inches inside your vagina. Your g-spot is a small raised mound about the size of a quarter or a nick on the front wall of your vagina. If you can't find it, we suggest some clitoral stimulation first and then retrying–the g-spot can be pretty flat when you're not aroused.
Anal orgasms occur during anal sex. This could involve anal penetration by either a partner, a digit, or a sex toy. They often also involve clitoral stimulation. Anal orgasms have been said to feel 'deeper' to women and in turn, more fulfilling than other orgasms. They also have the added advantage of reaching the newer (in scientific terms, women have always had this, of course) area called 'the A spot' in women. It's an area inside the vagina that can be reached by anal penetration–it's said to make vaginas turn on intensely and quickly.