Our guide to the quietest vibrators on the market for your socially distant pleasure
Need to get off but can't get enough privacy from others in your house? Whether you're stuck in close quarters this summer or just always surrounded by family members because your state is in quarantine, it's essential that you have a quiet vibrator, so people passing by have no idea what's going on behind your closed door.
Covid-19 has rapidly changed our home lives, no matter our age or marital status. You might be now balancing childcare, housework, and work-from-home work. Date night with your significant other might feel like a faraway dream. You might be home from college, living with your parents who ask, "Where are you going?" every time you stand up from the couch. Or (if you're like our team) you're suddenly stuck inside your too-small Brooklyn apartment with your many roommates–the same apartment that you initially thought was fine to rent since why would you ever stay inside if you live in New York City?
So, along with some quick tips and tricks for sneaking in some whisper-quiet clitoral stimulation (whether it's solo or with your significant other) during your coronavirus quarantine, we've rounded up some of the best silent vibrators on the market.
Tips for silent solo sex while in quarantine
If you're currently sharing a room or thin walls, think about purchasing a waterproof vibrator (like our Limon!) so that you can take it with you during a bath. If you're worried about roommates seeing a sex toy in your belongings (or seeing you carry if from the bathroom to your room), think about purchasing one of the uniquely-shaped (read: does not look like a dildo) vibrators on the market today (hey! that's also our Limon).
Tips for quiet sex while stuck in a house full of other people
Clitoral stimulation is vital here. You likely don't have a ton of time for foreplay and aftercare–so having a high-quality clitoral vibrator handy will make sure you can get there before one of your kids comes knocking at your bedroom door. Make sure it's quiet and doesn't require a ton of wrangling, nothing kills a mood more than fumbling with buttons. Also, rechargeable vibrators are key. You don't want to have to explain to your kids why you're taking the batteries from their toy (and disappearing to the other room).
A note on some sex toys to avoid if your goal is discretion
There are a few famous vibrators with unique features that, while great in other contexts, make them far too obvious if you're trying not to let your roommates what you're up to after you all watched 365 Days.
If you're looking for quiet, don't look to the Hitachi Magic Wand. Yes, it really is a magic wand when it comes to clitoral stimulation, but the vibe sounds like more like a jackhammer. Also, the infamous rabbit vibrator has a loud and distinctive sound, thanks to its dual motors that let you receive both clitoral and g-spot stimulation. Both of these are great for a quick orgasm, but anyone sharing a wall will definitely hear their telltale sex toy whirs.
A note about discretion–what to do if you can't be quiet during sex
For some people, making a little noise is part of the thrill of sex. If you can't orgasm quietly, then it won't matter how much noise your vibrator makes. Luckily, we have some tips for you. Start by investing in a good sound machine. This one [linked] on Amazon is top-rated for a reason. Leave it as close to the door as possible and turn it on. Music is also always a good option, but you don't want to run into an issue where someone is banging on your door, asking you to turn your music down just as you're about to come.
Our list of the most whisper-quiet, discreet vibrators on the market
We have to start this list with our own vibrator, the Minna Limon. But don't just take our word for it! Lioness also clocked the Minna Limon at 48 decibels in their investigation of the best and quietest vibrators–that's quieter than rainfall. What's even better is that not only is the Limon incredibly discreet, it's also incredibly strong with a powerful motor that you can control just by squeezing. If you prefer, you can take it in the bath as this vibrator is waterproof.
However, we have to warn you that you might not be so quiet while using Limon...
Mia 2 is a compact bullet vibrator that looks like a lipstick and feels incredible. This mini vibrator is small but mighty-ish, USB-rechargeable with multi-speeds. It'll do in a pinch and is discreet enough that you could carry it in your purse without worrying that someone might realize what you're toting.
Sleek enough to wear as a necklace, this slim and silent vibrator is beloved by those more daring types. It's not precisely discreet if you do end up wearing it in public.
This hands-free vibrator is quiet and convenient if you're looking for a silent vibrator to help you get some extra clitoral stimulation during sex. It's not the most powerful vibrator, but it is one of the most novel and doesn't look like your classic vibrator.
An incredible couples' vibrator that comes with remote control and a We-Vibe Connect app so that you get both g-spot and clitoral stimulation during sex and the ability to switch up vibration modes at any time.
The We-Vibe Touch calls itself a 'sculpted' clitoral stimulator, and it lives up to that description with its unique shape that fits in the palm of your hand. It's a quiet, waterproof bullet vibrator, but it doesn't have the most powerful motor on the market.